My glitter space

I had a day yesterday.

No.  I had a day yesterday.

I didn't expect it to bother me very much-- in fact, I wasn't even sure that when the day actually arrived-- that it would really even end up on my radar.

Boy, was I wrong.  Radar, shmadar.  Turns out, it was one of the first things on my mind when I got out of bed, and the last thing I thought of as I quietly sobbed myself to sleep.  Grief has a funny way of making you think that you've reached that next level, the one where you don't care nearly as much, where you don't break down at every little trigger, where you think that maybe, finally, things have subsided and you can get back to whatever the new normal is.  And then on a day like yesterday?  Grief jumps out of nowhere like one of those creepy jack-in-the-box(es) and knocks you flat on your butt.  I had one of those days yesterday.

There was a celebration yesterday.  A celebration of two precious and long-awaited little lives.  When I say long-awaited, I mean that these little lives, these babies, did not come to their mommas without a lot of fear, frustration, heartache, grief, and loss.  And I know this because these two mommas are very dear friends, whom I love.  Very much.  We have shared good times.  And sad times.  And hard times.  They are my friends.  My sisters.  And I wanted to celebrate with them.  I really wanted to celebrate with them.  But I could not seem to move past/rise above/get over the thought in my mind that what was a double celebration should have been a triple celebration.  That one of my little ones would have added to the reason to celebrate.  That when I lost my little Pearl, yes, I lost the chance to be a part of that group of celebrated mommas yesterday, but I also lost the chance to have a kiddo grow up with my friends' kiddos.  There are a lot of facets to this baby loss grief, but that is one that cuts deep.  There is a special kind of hurt that happens when the visions of little girls and boys toddling around together, pulling on each others pigtails and dumping sand on each other's heads, crumbles into a million pieces.  When it all falls apart.  And there is no way to put it back together.

Yesterday was, in lots of ways, a day that I would rather forget.  And yet.  Tonight when I was texting my husband while he was at work, I recounted yesterday as one of the best days I have had in a very.  very.  Long.  time.  In fact, I told him that it ranked in the top ten, in the 4 years that we've been married.

Yesterday was tough.  It was one of those milestones in this grief journey.  The kind that knocks you back a step or two.  But see, I married a really good guy.  I married the kind of guy that can make it okay when absolutely nothing about the circumstance is okay.  I married the kind of guy who is willing to use his FMLA time to stay home from work and care for you when you need it most.  The kind of guy who takes you by the hand, kisses you on the cheek, and tells you that he knows that today sucks, but he isn't going to let you face it alone.  The kind of guy who spends the rest of the day, tending to your every need--with a smile on his face and a grip of reassurance on your hand.  Who decides that you need your own glitter space.  And then builds you one, that same day.  Oh, and while you're getting settled into your new glitter space?  He decides to go grocery shopping and whip up ribs and cornbread for dinner, just in case you still needed an extra dose of comfort.

We all laugh at my constant obsession with all things glittered.  But really and truly-- it is my outlet.  I have always been one that can get lost for hours if all I have is a pair of scissors, some glue, paper, and glitter.  I also write, and play with my puppies, and exercise, and cook-- but my strange little creative gene-- my glitter and paper and scissors--can get me through the longest and loneliest of days while my husband is at work and I'm desperate to find something that I enjoy as a mental vacation from the grief that threatens to pull me under on those especially dark days.

And so, when my husband decided to give me my very own space to cut, glue, glitter, and emboss to my heart's content?  He met the deepest of my needs in a very tangible, practical way.  He loved me.  Selflessly. Practically.   And when I walk by the study, and I see my new little space.  My eyes well up with tears.  Not at the ribbon or the perfectly organized glitter or the crazy cool sticker spinner that we made together.  My eyes well up with tears because my husband has served me and loved me in such a way that I am overcome with an immense amount of respect for the ways in which he cares for me, and for a desire to return the favor and love him--selflessly--back.

My husband isn't my savior.  He can't fix it all and he can't love me perfectly.  But I do believe that God gave him to me as a gift.  As an extension of Christ's love for me.  And so when Jesse metaphorically wrapped the towel around his waist, bent down, and washed my dirty, broken, blistered feet yesterday--in an earthly way, he loved me as Christ loves me.  And that is a powerful thing.  That is a love that binds wounds.  That heals.  That brings joy in the midst of sorrow.

And so I guess this is my public announcement of respect for my husband.  My shout out.  My skywritten declaration that he is a wonderful husband whom God uses to love me and hold me together on days like yesterday.  That I have the utmost respect and admiration for the Christ-like man that he is.  And that I am so unbelievably grateful for his presence in my life--and as much as I would give just about anything to have my 3 babies here with me now--the loss of their precious little lives has brought Jesse and me to a new level of intimacy that I did not know was possible.  We have been to the depths together--and an immense bond has been forged as a result.  And I would not trade that for anything.

I love my friends.  I can't wait to meet their little ones.  And maybe someday, that dream of toddlers running around harassing each other can be realized.  Some days, I'm brave enough to hope that it will.

And I adore this guy.  And I am privileged and crazy blessed to call him my husband.  

  
Matthew 19:4-6 NIV 
"Haven't you read," he replied, " that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, " For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh" So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 NIV 
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Song of Songs 8:6-7 NIV 
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm, for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love, rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

Box Packing Party Update

This is just a super quick post to let everyone know where we are at with our upcoming event and to put out a quick request to let you know what we still need.  We are really excited to finally be doing this and hope that you will consider being a part of it in some way!

We are down to about 17 days left before we are hoping to get together and pack as many boxes as we possibly can!  The following list details our current needs:

ITEM	NEED
Boxes	0
Burlap (6 in. width)	40-50 yds
Lace (2-3 in. width)	50 yds
Flower Centers (pearls or gems 1/4 in. diameter)	207
Cream Tissue	40 sheets
Blue Tissue	41 sheets
Pink Tissue	0
Cream Ribbon (appox. 1/4 in.)	10 yds
Blue Ribbon (appox. 1/4 in.)	5 yds
Cream Ribbon (appox. 1/4 in.)	10 yds
Thin Twine	18 rolls
Tag Paper	25 sheets brown paper cardstock (paper bag type color, not chocolate brown)
Kleenex (unopened travel packs in muted colors if possible)	166
Pens (new)	159
Seed Packets (any kind of flowers)	161
Copies of I'll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford	193
Booties **if you crochet and are interested, please send us a message!	as many as we can get
Journals	166
Candles (3 in. white or cream pillar, new)	163

Please let us know if you have something on this list that you would like to donate and we will make arrangements to collect it as soon as possible.

Again, consider joining us on Sunday, March 30th at 1 pm at Palmcroft Baptist Church-- no craft skills required, if you show up, we will find a job for you!  :-)

Any questions, email us at any time--

becky.forgetmenot@gmail.com
karen.forgetmenot@gmail.com

Thanks, all!  :-)  

You're invited...

We are so excited to finally announce our first ever box packing party--and guess what, you are on the list of guests we would like to invite!  What's a packing party??  I'm so glad you asked!!!

Hold on.  Sorry about that.

Let me dial down the cheese factor (it's been a long day and I've just finished chasing my dog around the house with an empty paper towel roll for entertainment) and explain a little further what this is all about...:-)

Last October we ordered our first set of 25 boxes that we planned to decorate and fill with a few comfort items in order to have them on hand to give out to the loss mommas that crossed our path.  We weren't sure exactly what the need would be--and I'm sure you can understand the bittersweet feelings we have when we say that we are nearing the end of our second set of 25 boxes.  It's bitter because they represent 50 precious lives that have been lost--but it's also sweet because we have been able to reach out and love 50 hurting mothers who now might feel just a little less alone in their grief.

Why a packing party?  There are a few reasons, least of which is that with 3-6 boxes going out each week, this is no longer a one man production--and I need to get some space in my guest room back!  Just kidding--but in all seriousness, we just simply cannot keep up with the requests that are coming through each week and we really do want each and every one to be met.

Many of you have expressed your love and support and "how can I help?!" attitude since the start of all of this, and we can't thank you enough.  And you guessed it-- now is the time when we answer that "how can I help?" question with asking you to consider 1) helping us gather items for our box ministry and 2) coming to our packing party next month.

Our goal is to come together on a Sunday afternoon next month and pack about 200 boxes.  But we most definitely cannot do that without some help.  If you would like to dig through your craft closet or stop at the dollar spot at Target or just help us spread the word by sharing this on your Facebook page or with your Sunday School class, we would be so appreciative.

In order to have enough supplies to pack these boxes, we are in need of the following:

ITEM	NEED
Boxes	0
Burlap (6 in. width)	40-50 yds
Lace (2-3 in. width)	50 yds
Flower Centers (pearls or gems 1/4 in. diameter)	207
Cream Tissue	40
Blue Tissue	41
Pink Tissue	0
Cream Ribbon (appox. 1/4 in.)	10 yds
Blue Ribbon (appox. 1/4 in.)	5 yds
Cream Ribbon (appox. 1/4 in.)	10 yds
Thin Twine	20 rolls
Tag Paper	25 sheets brown paper cardstock (paper bag type color, not chocolate brown)
Kleenex (unopened travel packs in muted colors if possible)	182
Pens (new)	159
Seed Packets (any kind of flowers)	166
Copies of I'll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford	202
Booties **if you crochet and are interested, please send us a message!	as many as we can get
Journals	166
Candles (3 in. white or cream pillar, new)	184

We would like to very kindly ask you to remember as you are digging through your craft closet or those dollar bins that you keep in mind that these boxes are being given to women who are in a very deep valley of grief.  As such, it would be best if we could gather journals that are muted in color and design, candles that are new, and pens that do not contain company logos for marketing.  We want to be sensitive to their grief and come alongside of them in the most supportive way possible.

If you have any questions at all about what we are looking for, please don't hesitate to send us a message!  We are just so thankful that you are interested in helping with this cause that is so near and dear to our hearts.

And finally-- our Box Packing Party has been scheduled for 1pm on Sunday, March 30th.  We will meet at Palmcroft Church, 15825 N. 35th Ave, in building E Room 202.  Please mark your calendar and join us if you are able-- no crafting skills are required and we will provide everything that you need to help us get these beautiful boxes packed and ready to go!

Stay tuned for more updates :-)

-Becky

Another year gone by

"Do not regret growing older; it is a privilege denied to many." - unknown

As yet another birthday approaches and the feelings of gloom and the ache of what still is not settle in, I force myself to try to focus on this statement.  But lately, I haven't been too successful.

There was the day a few weeks ago when I dragged my poor, sweet, patient husband to Hobby Lobby in search of these tiny baby feet shaped garden stones that someone else had shown me.  I had decided the day before (after two solid days of not being able to get a grip on my emotions) that I desperately wanted to have somewhere that I could go, sit, and feel sad, angry, hopeless, hopeful, wistful-- and to remember.  And so my husband had listened, as in between uncontrollable sobs I told him that I needed a place.  A place for my babies.

"You want to plant some flowers, Beck?  Get a bench maybe?"

"Yes -- sob sob sob-- I think-- sob sob sob-- that would be ---sob sob sob -- nice."

And so we now found ourselves scouring the aisles at Hobby Lobby, looking for the teeny tiny baby feet that I just couldn't imagine not having in my flower bed.  After about 20 minutes, we came to the conclusion that while they may have been in the store at one time, they were definitely gone now.

And.  True to form.  You guessed it.  I broke down in the middle of the Hobby Lobby aisle right in the midst of the garden gnomes and the Jesus music and everything.  And as Jesse tried to offer suggestions of calling the Avondale store and looking online, something on the bottom shelf caught my eye.  Jesse was probably mid sentence when without a word, I walked halfway down the aisle, knelt down, and began digging in the items on the bottom shelf.  He calmly followed me and watched as I pulled out a small statue-- intended to look like 3 mushrooms growing out of the grass, but each was covered in tiny flowers-- pink, blue, and yellow.

And just as quickly as my tears had stopped, they started again.  Unable to speak, my husband read my mind, as he often does, and said "You're crying because you like it?"  I nodded.  "because it's perfect?"  I nodded again.  "Okay well of course we are going to get it, but you have to carry it because it's covered in glitter."

Did I mention that I love this guy?

And so I've been working on my "spot for the babies" over the last couple weeks, and it's been cathartic and healing.  Perhaps one day I will have a real garden in a quiet place in the backyard far away from the destruct-o-puppies that currently reign, but until then, it will do just fine.

As of late, something like this little incident has happened about every other day.  There are always the new pregnancy announcements of dear friends and coworkers, the days where just the smallest thing reminds me of what has been lost, and the different anniversary dates that physically make my heart hurt.  Call them triggers, call them whatever you want-- they can come any time, anywhere, and without warning.  They do not discriminate against who I might be with or what my current responsibility or task might be.  And they can, without fail,

knock.  me.  down.    

But as I am reminded that yet another year has passed by, another "1" added to my age, I can't help but to struggle to find the Hope in it all.

Sometimes I wonder if all the happy endings are being used up on everyone else.

And as much as I know that that thought isn't a Biblical or Godly perspective, some days, it's just where I'm at.

This past December we found out some news, that while not a "deal-breaker" necessarily, has discouraged me greatly.  As it turns out, we aren't just facing my unexplained predisposition to recurrent pregnancy loss, but also another factor related to fertility.  To put it simply, I don't have as much time to have children as we originally thought.  You might be thinking "but you can obviously get pregnant, right?  So...does that really matter?"

From the few people that I've explained this to, the response that I've received more than once has been that exact sentiment.  While I am logical enough to recognize that that response comes from a genuine place to encourage and offer hope-- "yes, but you can get pregnant, so everything is going to be fine!  It's all going to be okay!  Let's eat some ice cream now!"-- and can appreciate that, it actually kind of hurts.  It makes me instantly feel invalidated and like my current grief journey, which includes a lot of fear about the future, isn't warranted or real.  Yes, I can get pregnant.  But up to this point, I can't have a baby.  And to be quite honest, what I want is not to be pregnant.  I'm terrified to be pregnant.  I dread seeing those two pink lines because I know that that means.  To me, two pink lines equal certain miscarriage.  Is that entirely logical?  Maybe not.  But that's been my experience.  3 times, that's been my experience.  What else am I supposed to go on?  I don't want to be pregnant.  I want to have a baby.  

And so, I will confess that while we are now seeing a specialist and taking some steps to treat this fertility factor, the inescapable sound that I hear in my mind is the relentless and pervading tick-tock, threatening to run out at any given moment, without warning, and before I've had my chance .................dramatic?  Perhaps.  And yet.  Once again, some days.  It's just where I'm at.

When I occasionally share my heart in this way, people have tried to offer their encouragement with "if it's meant to happen, it will" or "don't forget, God wants to give you the desires of your heart" or "don't worry, He doesn't give us more than we can handle."

I love each and every one of the people who have expressed these sentiments to me, but as I usually just nod and smile when they are offered in conversation, I'd like to take a brief moment here to express my thoughts on these statements.

First of all, absolutely none of this is about me or about Jesse.  It's not even really about the babies that we grieve or the future that we might fear.  It has always been and must always be about Christ's love for us and the ways in which His power can be evidenced in our lives.  As for "He doesn't give us more than we can handle", it's a really nice sentiment that paints a picture of a loving God who doesn't want to see us hurting-- but it's really only half of the true picture.  Nowhere in scripture does it say that He will not give us more in this life than we can handle.  Nowhere.  If we were not given more than we could handle in our own strength, then why in the world would we need a Saviour?  We would be just fine without Him.  And that's not how He created us-- He created us to need Him.  And the passage that states "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart ( Ps. 37:4)"-- I really don't think that this is saying "if you want it, He'll give it to you"  That isn't the God that I know.  The God that I know, however, does have the power to change my heart to be more like His-- more selfless, compassionate, patient, kind-- and as I spend time with Him ("delighting" myself), my heart begins to be more like His, and thus, my desires will begin to mirror His.  He never promised me a happily ever after.  And he never promised me that even if what I wanted is a good thing (a new life a good thing!) and if I did everything that I was supposed to do in this life, that I would be rewarded with that thing that I want most.  He loves me too much for that.  See, these past couple of years have brought great sorrow to me and to my husband.  We have been down down down to the depths of the deep dark pit.  We have sat in the ER or the dr's office and time again had our hopes and our dreams crushed into smithereens right before our eyes.  We most definitely have been given more than we can handle.  Believe me-- I cannot handle this.      Spend 24 hours living with me and you'll see.  And without a doubt, the deepest desires of my momma heart remain unmet.

And yet.

In being given more than I can handle, I have realized and given into, my great need for Christ.  Forget "leaning" on Him in all of this-much like my pudgy fluffy German Shepherd Elliotte in the middle of a long and tired walk, I have quit, too exhausted to take one more step, and laid down right in the middle of the road.  Leaning on Him?  No.  I am being straight up carried by Him at this point.  And while carried, I experience the healing of His love as He patiently binds my wounds and works to heal my broken heart.

As for my unmet desires-- perhaps He will choose to meet them in the way that we are hoping for, asking for, praying for.  Or perhaps He won't.  Because there is always the chance that in knowing what is best for Jesse and for me, in knowing what the ending that will bring Him the most honor will look like, that He will, instead, change my desire.  That as I open myself up to letting Him make my heart look more like His, he will give me new desires, bigger and better than the ones I have now.  Does that scare me?  Uh.  Yeah.  I still want what I want.  But I also have to trust His heart.  He has proven Himself wayyyyyyyy too many times in my life for me to doubt Him now.  This is my God.  And I know Him.

And so--it would seem fitting that my husband has announced that we are escaping to the Happiest Place on Earth next week  in celebration of my big day.  I have no doubt that there might be a certain stroller or a specific mother/child moment that I will witness in a giant park geared toward kiddos that will trigger a few tears.  That will awaken yet another new desire in me-- to one day take my own kiddos to the Magic Kingdom-- and that that thought as sweet as it might be, might also be tinged with a little bit of pain.  But I also plan to take some time in the midst of Indiana Jones, a Dole Whip, pictures with Mickey, a sudden free fall, and clinging to Jesse while in the Haunted Mansion (yes, I'm still terrified of it, okay?!)  and reflect on these things that I do have--the promise of seeing my little ones again, the unconditional love of a Savior who loves me too much to give me everything that I want, to leave me how I am, or to leave me stranded and exhausted in the middle of the road and the crazy selfless love and kindness of a husband that I do not deserve.

31, I'm a little nervous and scared, but here I come.

We Remember You Update

Hello there! This is Karen, and I think this is like my second entry here! I don't often get to be the author on this blog (I need about 12 more hours in my day!!), so I am excited to be the one to update you on our very first We Remember You conference!

So much time, effort, thought, and love went into the planning of this event. We had such amazing support from volunteers who took on setting up, baking, decorating, and so much more. Becky, Rachel, and I cannot thank those people enough. We have felt so loved and so supported by your sacrifices to make this event a success! The decorations were beautiful, the food was delicious, the garden was precious, the crafts were amazing, the speakers were wonderful, and the women were blessed.

What a beautiful, beautiful day. I think pictures speak louder than words, so here are a few from the event...

We had a WONDERFUL turnout of about forty women, and each one had a unique and special story and reason for being there. I talked to women who were struggling to start their family, who had an abortion years ago, who lost one baby, two babies, five babies through miscarriage or stillbirth. There were women who's losses were four weeks ago and women who's losses were forty years ago. There were mothers, sisters, and friends of women who've struggled, who came simply to support them and learn more about how to love them through their grief. There were women of all ages and all walks of life, and it was truly an honor to be counted among them.

I personally was able to sit in on two workshops, and it was so amazing to listen to the stories, the encouragement, and the truth that was offered to these women from others who have walked the same road. I am so proud of each of the workshop facilitators who took such a huge risk at being vulnerable, real, and honest in sharing their stories and the lessons they've learned. I learned a lot myself!!!

Because each woman that attended has such a unique background and experience, I am sure that each woman walked away with something completely different. I can only speak to what I walked away with, and that is how incredibly strong we are, how incredibly special we are, to have been chosen to carry so much pain. Many times in my life, especially in the past couple of years, I have felt...almost cursed. As if I had been "pegged" by God, to be picked on and tested and asked to carry far more than I was capable of. I look at other people and wonder why they seem to have it so easy in this life. Why is it that some of us just seem to be "chosen" to be the Jobs of this world, and some of us seem to fly through life unscathed?

I have come to believe, though, that those of us who have been "chosen," have been plucked up by the hand of God himself, just as a beautiful flower you can't resist picking, and have been given the honor of experiencing a deeper and more intimate relationship with the Lord, because of the deep sorrow we have endured. As I sat among those women, I felt incredibly honored to be one of them, and I realized that I did not feel cursed, I felt chosen. I don't think a single one of us would have asked to be there, would have chosen this path for ourselves, but there we were. And we were together in our pain, together in our healing...just together. It was a pretty powerful thing.

There were a lot of wonderful things about this day, but I have to share with you the MOST wonderful thing, and that is that one of the women that came decided to accept Christ!!! That one decision, that one woman coming to the event and speaking with our mentors and deciding to accept the free gift of salvation and begin a relationship with Jesus, that makes all of it, and I do mean all of it, completely and totally worth it. 

From the event, we have also been contacted by several people who either attended or heard about our event, and Becky and I are busy trying to follow up with each of them and are so excited to see where all of it leads!

Thank you so much for your prayers and support in these past several months as we have launched this ministry and planned this event. We cannot wait to see what God does with it all. Each of us within Forget Me Not feel very strongly that God has big plans for this ministry! We hope you will continue to follow us along this journey and see where it takes us!!!

...Someone Doesn't Want this Event to Happen...

I walked down the driveway feeling encouraged.  Hopeful.  Like this could all really happen.  And yet.  And yet her final words to us were still ringing in the back of my mind.

"If you are going to do this, then you better be ready.  Because this is from the Lord and it will be used in huge ways if He continues to bless it.  And there is someone who will not want that to happen.  So be ready.  Because the enemy will do everything he can to stop you.  Be ready."

And that was July 11, 2013.  Nearly 8 months ago.  And this week, her warning rang true.

See, it's been a week.  No...it's been a week.  I will spare you all of the gory details, but to make some very long stories short-- I made some  mistakes at work (that nearly could have cost me my job--in fact, they really could have-), was left to clean up my own mess--  And then there was the nasty case of respiratory crud that hit (which is really not that unusual for this asthmatic), but hit in the mist of the work fiasco and nearly drove me to the ER on Thursday night.  We managed to avoid that, but I have been down and out for the last day and a half, dead to the world and unable to work on anything for the ministry or our fast approaching event.  And in the midst of it all, my mind has been plagued with overwhelming thoughts of worry, despair, and darkness.

Worry?  Despair?  Darkness?  These do not come from God.  These come from one place only.  And that is how I know

Someone does not want this event to happen.

Well all praise and thanks to God for carrying me (literally carrying me-- ever had one of those days/weeks/journeys where the evidence that He gently picked you up and carried you when you could no longer walk was just undeniable??!) through my work mess, giving me the strength  to face the office another full 3 days this week, and to make it through this illness while managing to avoid any major setbacks.  It all could have been a lot worse.  Much worse.

And guess what else I realized in all of this?  I have been handling a large part of the administrative responsibilities with this ministry and next Saturday's event--but I was MIA the majority of the week because of all that was going on and -- things kept on moving right along without me.  

Cuz guess what.  This ministry is going to move forward regardless of my involvement or what the enemy decides to throw in our way.  Because there is a need.  (4 boxes went out this week alone.)  A  need for wounded women to find hope and healing through Christ and His love.  And He isn't about to let anyone or anything to get in the way of that.  He's too big.  And He cares too much. 

One more time-- here is the kick off event info.  https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B9-zYE2WlmteRGRwamJxOUVWVmM/edit

And so.  Come rain or shine.  Regardless of whether all of our planned tiny details come together perfectly the way that we've planned or they don't.  This event is happening.  And there is a team of us who have been praying for you.  Praying that if your heart is hurting in this area, that you will come.  And that we will be able to encourage you.  To love you.  To show you that you're not alone.


Many are the plans in a person’s heart,

    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.   Proverbs 19

We Remember You - A Day of Hope and Healing

You've seen our fliers.

You've watched our video.

http://vimeo.com/83794360

You've heard about our box ministry.

You've read our requests for help and prayer.

So what's this all about?

This is our dream.  This is our hope.  Our mission.

The first step was our box ministry.  Our vision was that through the church, any woman who knew of a friend, family member, neighbor, or perhaps even herself, in need of comfort and encouragement because of a miscarriage, late loss, stillbirth, or early infant loss could get a small box of comfort items and to her know that both she and her baby were remembered and loved.  And to date:

-50 total boxes are ready to go

-8 boxes have gone out

-1 box went to a family who just lost their baby boy on Christmas Eve

-2 of those boxes have gone to two different churches in Oklahoma--those two pastors are now planning to work with us to help them build their own FMN ministries at their churches

-many MANY conversations about FMN and thus about Jesus have transpired between those of us in the ministry and others--some of which have been perfect strangers (strange things can happen at the Jo-Anne's cut counter, ok?!)

And the second step is really what this post is all about. 

We Remember You is a day of healing for women affected by pregnancy loss, abortion, or infertility.   We invite you to attend this special seminar on Saturday, January 18th, 2014 in the Education Center at Palmcroft,  9am- 1pm with a light brunch beginning at 8:30 am.  If you are able, the suggested donation is $5.  Palmcroft is located at 15825 N. 35th Ave.

Click here for event flier

In exactly two weeks, we will be holding this, our first kickoff event.  This is likely the part you have seen us advertising whenever and wherever we can, but you're probably still asking yourself, "what is it??"

Want to know if this event is for you?  Or who you should consider inviting?  So here's the scoop.  This Saturday morning event is going to be run like a workshop.  In fact, here are some details that we haven't previously released:

Healing From Pregnancy Loss (Workshop 1)

This session will be directed toward women who have experienced any type of pregnancy loss including early miscarriage, late loss, stillbirth, and abortion.  Questions and topics discussed will include:

• Will I see my baby again?
• How do I deal with the emotions that follow loss for months and years to come?
• Why is God letting this happen to me?
• Why do other women get a healthy baby while I do not?
• If I had an abortion, does God forgive me and how do I deal with guilt and grief?  Will I see my baby again?
• If I had an abortion, how do I talk about that with other Christian women?  Won’t they look at me differently?

The Struggle of Infertility (Workshop 2)

This session will be directed toward women who have experienced or are experiencing difficulty in conceiving.  Questions and topics discussed will include:

• Why is God allowing this struggle in my life?
• Why do other women who get a baby while I don’t?
• If I take advantage of modern medicine to try and conceive, am I “playing God?”
• How do I maintain romance and connection with my husband in the midst of this journey?
• What does the Bible say about infertility?
• What does the Bible say about IVF and other options for conception?
• Why should I/shouldn’t I consider adoption?

Pregnancy, Parenting, and Maintaining a Godly Marriage in the Midst of Grief (Workshop 3)

This session will be directed toward women who are married and experiencing the stressors of pregnancy loss or infertility, women who might experience pregnancy again after loss, and women who are parenting other children through/after a loss.  Questions and topic discussed will include:

• How do I reconnect with my husband after loss?
• How do I reconnect with my husband during our infertility struggle?
• How do we find romance and hope in our marriage in the midst of grief?
• How do I deal with a husband who doesn't know how to be supportive of my loss and/or infertility?
• Does my husband grieve differently?  How?
• What are some practical ways that I can protect my marriage during this time?
• How do I deal with the paralyzing fear that comes with pregnancy after loss (or that comes after watching my friends experience losses?)  
• How do I explain my loss(es) to my other children?  

Supporting a Grieving Loved One (Workshop 4)

This session will be directed toward women who have walked the road of grief as a result of pregnancy loss or infertility with a family member or friend.  Questions and topics discussed will include:

• How can I show love to her during this time?
• What should I say?  What should I not say?
• How do I support her while I grieve the loss and/or unmet desire too (as grandmother, aunt, etc.)?
• How can I love a friend/family member who is hurting from abortion?
• What are some practical things that I can do to help?

Each woman in attendance will be able to choose 2 of the 4 workshops to attend.  Each of these workshops will be led by a pair of very brave women who will be sharing from their own personal life experiences in these areas.  It will be vulnerable and real.  

Think you want to attend but feel like maybe only one session is a good fit for you?  No problem.  While all of these workshops are going on, so will our "Memory Making" session.  This is an informal session in which any woman who attends will be able to make a small craft, like a bracelet, keychain, or Christmas ornament by which to remember their loved little one who is no longer with us.  We will also have the materials to make a beautiful little journal to take home if your struggle is more related to infertility, or if you are attending in support of another woman and wish to make something for her.  

And if the thought of putting together a craft project totally stresses you out (not everyone's favorite color is glitter!!), then we will have places where you can hang out, grab a bite to eat, and even a quiet room where you can go to think, pray, or talk with one of our trained mentors.

We will also be "planting" our Garden of Remembrance.  "What's that??" you ask.  Come join us and find out.  In fact, we can't wait to show you.  We think that it will be a beautiful visual representation of the little ones that we will meet again and of the countless who struggle to ever even conceive.  

We have tried very hard to make sure that there will be something for every woman who attends.

The bottom line we want to make sure that you understand about this event with which we have been bombarding your Facebook newsfeed as of late?

In order to attend this event it is not necessary to have personally had an experience with pregnancy loss, abortion, or infertility.  It is only necessary to have a desire to want to reach out and minister to other women who are hurting in these areas.  And if you're reading this post?  Then you already know one.

We will be announcing our plans for support groups, box packing parties and more at this event.  Please.  Come join us.  We would love to have you.  We hope that this is just the beginning.

Please let us know if you have any questions at all or would like more information or some fliers for your own distribution.

becky.forgetmenot@gmail.com
karen.forgetmenot@gmail.com

Thank you for reading this lengthy post and we hope to see you there.  

If you choose to come?  You will be amongst friends.  Friends who love you, support you, and understand the road you walk.  We don't want you to suffer in isolating silence anymore.